And Let the Wild Ruckus Start: Ruckus Boston 2012

Before I go into the 2012 Boston Ruckus held at the Marshfield Fairgrounds, let me thank my extended racing family for joining me in our second year of running Ruckus.  Whether it be the Neighbors who came in full force to show their obstacling prowess, or Mid-Life Crisis and Just Out of Diapers who vanquished the course with mighty aggressiveness, or our virgin obstacle racer who, after admitting that she really enjoyed getting muddy during the event, will forever now be known as Likes It Dirty (hope that doesn't tarnish her crystal clean reputation), they one and all deserve accolades and foot massages for their triumphant completion of the Ruckus.  Well done!!

Minus "Just Out of Diapers", who may have been taking this pic

And now for the Ruckus...

If you have been aggressively following me you would know that I had a few complaints about last year's Ruckus: registration, gear drop, and some damaged and/or ineffective obstacles.  Now, I don't want to take full credit for the changes Ruckus made in their 2012 event but they made minor improvements with registration and gear drop, and vast improvements to their obstacles, almost like a little Illustrious told them they needed to be improved upon and you're welcome.

No one really cares that much about registration and gear drop as long as they know it goes smoothly, so there it is.  It was much smoother than last year.  The registration was much more registrationy and the place for our gear was droppier.  Kudos!

Everyone cares about the course and Ruckus, you done good!  The array of obstacles were top-notch.  You had your basic mud pits and dirt hills, your muddy water crawls and mud-thick single-track trails, your cargo net and tall wall climbs, your monkey bars and low hurdles, etc; but it was the improvements to typical obstacles and the overall layout of the course that had me at hello.

So let's talk improvements, shall we?

1. Rope Rings: Last year your rope rings, to be polite, sucked.  The contraption you built for us this year became one of the crowd favorites.  It was doable, but challenging.  Fun, but troublesome.  It allowed us to laugh at ourselves while we swung back and forth trying to get to the next rope, and swear under our breath at the people in front of us who were taken too damn long trying to get to the next rope just let go and fall in the mud already you're slowing us down and now I feel silly just swinging back and forth and back forth and I probably don't look like Tarzan swinging here and now I'm stopping while a wait so a little push would be great.  Aside from my impatience with others, massive improvement from last year's Ropes and I look forward to swinging on it again.  Apparently this obstacle was a showcase for Ruckus because everyone had pictures from it, like this:

and this:

and this:  

and this:

and this:

2. Course layout: The layout last year was good, not great, but good.  Last year the vendors were ostracized from where all the fun was, but this year Ruckus let them be a part of the fun.  This year's course was around (and under) the spectators, the vendors, registration, and bag check; all conveniently packed together for our enjoyment.  There were multiple places the fans could go to watch your amazing feats of total aggressiveness.  Or they could watch you fall and get muddy.  The mix of obstacle to running ratio was good.  Never felt like you were running too long and there was just enough running to separate the masses, which lead to no waits at the obstacles.  I think they added more trail running this year, too, but I can't be sure.  Additionally, Ruckus placed the end of the race by the Kids Ruckus course, which was a boon for those who had a friend or family member running but also had kids to entertain.  You could do both.  Witness your friend in all his/her glory as they pass the finish line while simultaneously watching your (or their) kid ruin that brand new outfit he just got last week and will never, ever get all the mud out of it; which is OK because dirt is temporary, clothes are replaceable, and the joy you have as you turn over a muddy child to their owner is sheer bliss.

3. Ruckus Tower: We can't talk about the layout or new obstacles without mentioning the Tower.  Ruckus built a multi-leveled obstacle with rope ladders, cargo nets, and a slide that, depending on where you were in the Tower, could see other racers over and under you as you and they scaled this obstacle together.  Also, the kids course wove in and out of the Tower but never interfered with the adult course.  Big time props on the construction of the Tower.  To make it even better Ruckus placed the MC at the top of the tower to announce who was coming up and over for their final slide to the finish line... yup, big steep slide to the finish line.  Big obstacle, big improvement, big way to finish a race!

4. Me: There are many things I enjoy about these races and you would know what they are if you've been reading this blog, mainly: muddy stuff, climbing stuff, swinging from stuff, running through stuff, and stuff that looks good in muddy spandex.  I need to put another one on the list: Fellow Obstaclers.  These races are growing in popularity, which is great, and the familiar faces I see at the races always make it more memorable.  I don't know if I can say the same for them as they have only seen the Captain, never the mild mannered man underneath; but I think the feeling is mutual.  Lots of love to be had at these races... but only by other guys.... no girl love... why is there no girl love... no muddy spandex girl love... I thought girls loved a man in uniform!

What's not to love?

Final Results: (There was a lot of great competition out there but I managed to, once again, make it into the Champion's Heat.)


Overall Place Division         Age Group Place Time         Pace
89                    Ruckus Challenge 70                 39:48 9:57/M
14                    Ruckus Champion 12                 38:13.9 9:35/M

Illustrious

Tough Mudder VT (2012): Muddy, Bloody, Burnt, and Happy (Part 3)

Yes.  YES!  The final installment of the 2012 Tough Mudder at Mount Snow, VT.  Was there waiting on bated breath?  To be honest, even if there was I wouldn't know what it was.  What is bated?  Is it baited?  Like fish.  Is it fishy breath?  That's gross.  If you have fishy breath go read somewhere else.  You smell.

(And, yes, it has been far too long between Mudder installments but shit gets in the way:  (1) I had to sit down and type stuff, but (2) there was TV to watch and (3) I wasn't feeling particularly witty.  No one wants a serious Aggressive because then I'll sound like some old curmudgeon.... which would be a great name for Mid-Life Crisis once he hits 50... Old Curmudgeon!)

Back to our harrowing tale of courage and fortitude and mud and wet undies!  Or maybe just back to the obstacles.

(My apologies to everyone but I did not have any good pictures of most of these obstacles.  I need a better camera, or better yet, a GoPro.... vlogging would be best; but until that time you will have to put on your imagination caps and take a walk down imaginary lane with me.  I knew you could.)
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Walk the Plank: First rule of mask-wearing:  They come off in water.  Second rule: Very cold water makes it hard to readjust your mask while you are turning into a drowning hero-sicle.  There were no improvements to the Plank this year.  We climbed up to the platform, jumped 15 - 20 feet into a cold pond, and swam out; but what else could they do?  Make it higher?  Maybe, but that would mean the pond would need to be deeper.  Make the water colder?  Any colder and it would be ice.  They could make it more pirate-ier.  Force us to walk the plank.  Yell some piratey cliches, "Avast ye scurvy mudder, it be yur time to meet Davy Jones and sleep with the fishes"  Wait, that's sounds more like the mob... Mafia Pirates!  You hear about the mafia pirate who had a hook for a hand?  He had a speech impediment.  Get it?  Cuz he only had one hand and Italians... oh, never mind...

Underwater Tunnels: These are gross every year.  When you watch the videos on-line you see people swimming under barrels floating on cold, but fairly clean water.  These people never come up on the other side covered in muck, detritus, and woodland refuse; but we do, and by "we" I mean "me."  Mount Snow's "Tunnels" are nothing more than PVC pipes running across a foot deep puddle.  The object is to go under those pipes, which means fully submerging ourselves in the woody waste water.  One improvement: they strung barbed wire over the pipes so no one could skip out of the foresty flotsam by climbing over the pipes. You can't get hurt on this one and it's really not that cold; but do close your mouth because who knows what's lurking in the murk... and that's just disgusting.

Glacier of ice, or something else?

Glacier: Aka, Big Mound of Snow.  It wasn't at bad as last year's Glacier where we had ice ravines to walk through, freezing our lil'piggies off; but it was still a big pile of snow.  I neither love nor hate this obstacle.  It's easy but it's cold and it doesn't evoke any real visceral emotions when you've climbed off it... kind of like some people I've known...

The Gauntlet: Muddy, slick hill.  Hay bales to climb over during our ascent.  Cold water blasted on us from above... yup, same as last year; but, wait a minute... is that a kid controlling the fire house?  Little punk is laughing at us Mudders while blasting us with ice cold water!  Damn kids these days!  No respect for their elders! Get off my lawn obstacle!

Just as good as in the movies

Berlin Walls #2: Ah, yes, my 15' tall wooden wall nemesis.  We meet again.  These are the same walls as last year and they present the same problems to the already weary, wet, and cold Mudders.  They are hard to climb over solo and need Team Everyone.  Problem with Team Everyone is that not everyone on Everyone is, shall we say, as easily movable as others.  I, being S.L.A.B. (aka: Slender Like a B****), am easily hoisted to the top of the walls.  Others, being F.L.A.B (aka: uh, flab), are not.  Maybe you'll be lucky and only have to throw some SLABs around.  Maybe you won't be and have to throw some FLABS.  Either way, the only way up n'over for most is with the help of other Mudders, and isn't that why we're there?

Fire Walker: Oil-soaked bales of hay?  Check.  Raging inferno lit?  Check.  Acrid smoke billowing over the exhausted runners?  Of course!  This year I was ready for the Fire and, as luck would have it, nature played in my favor.  Once we entered the Fire the wind changed direction, pulling with it the wall o' smoke that would have caused it's typical panic.  It would have been clear running had it not been for Mudder's little sadistic addition.  Mudder had placed a gas pipe across our path in which a low flame was burning through its jets.  As we readied ourselves to hop over the small spouts of fire, the man sitting on the side, whose hands were on the gas valve controlling the amount of gas flowing through the pipe, turned up the heat.  Literally.  What was a small spout became a huge jet of hellfire which, I must say, was a nice touch.  Surprise danger is always a good way to heat things up.  He let it fall back to its original size but it had the desired effect: stopping us dead in our tracks with a look that, if I'm not mistaken, said, "asshole."

Never has a "On Fire" joke been more
apropos

Twinkle Toes: If you knew me you would know that the name of this obstacle reeks of humor directed at yours truly.  I have often been accused of someone who is "light on his feet" or "light is his loafers."  I'm not sure why.  Is it my penchant for spandex or my enthusiasm for dressing in costume?  It remains a mystery; but after successfully walking across the 1-inch narrow, 15 foot long beam which was suspended a few feet over an icy pool, it did not take long for the jokes to roll in... especially by those who had fallen in.  Who's to say why I was able to do it when others couldn't.  Maybe I am lighter on my feet then my compatriots.  Maybe if they were in front of me I'd know, but they were always suspiciously behind me, behind spandex-clad me... watching... leering... if I didn't know any better, I would feel objectified.

Greased Lightning: Last year's was better.  Last year they had a slip n'slide down a hill into a waiting icy pool.  This year they just kept the muddy hill wet.  Yes, it was slippery.  Yes, we could slide down it.  Yes, it was muddy, wet fun; but, unlike last year, I didn't feel like I was "burnin' up the quarter mile" after it.

Nothing "shocking" about our muddy
finish

Electroshock Therapy: I didn't get shocked.  I didn't get shocked.  I ran through and didn't get shocked.  Last year I got shocked in the face, but not this year!  This was the same obstacle as last year, a multitude of random live wires dangerously dangling in our path with the only addition being hay bales placed randomly under the electrified wires to slow us down.  I am guessing that Mudder was upset that Mudders were sprinting through the wires last year to avoid having many touch them at once, diminishing the chances of being shocked, and, thus, negating any fun for the spectators.  Nothing makes the spectators Ooh and Aah like watching their loved ones take a stinging jolt of 10,000 volts.  Loved ones are sadistic.

Finish: 10+ miles done.  Who knows how long it took and who cares.  This isn't about the pace and place, it's about the journey and the stories and the pain and the laughter.  Give us our orange headband.  Give us our free beer.  Give us our free vendor provided energy supplements.  Gimme.  Gimme.  Gimme... because we earned it.  For our veteran Mudders, welcome back and congratulations!  For our new Mudders, thank you for joining our unofficial racing family.

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It's not TMHQ that makes this worth doing.  It's not the location or the course.  It's you, Mudder, new and old, who make this worth doing.

  It's you who comes to share with me your want to finish, your wish to succeed, and your will to strive.  It's you who makes the story and with that brings life to the telling.  I may be waxing a bit sentimental but you all deserve it.  Each and every one of you.

The Officially Unofficial Team

A team hug was in order because nothing says a job well done like muddy hugs.  Until next Mudder... stay Aggressive!

Illustrious